It starts on the first genuinely cold night and it does not let up until the radiators go quiet. You are furniture now – warm, load-bearing, conveniently shaped. Your legs have opinions about this. Nobody has asked them.

Printed on the Comfort Colors 1717: a 6.1-ounce, garment-dyed heavyweight that shows up soft, fits relaxed and boxy, and fades like a favorite because it basically ships as one. The plate prints aged and distressed, the way a sign looks after a few winters.

• 100% ring-spun cotton, garment-dyed
• Relaxed fit, drop shoulder
• Aged plate print – worn edges, soft hand
• Printed to order in the US

There is a blanket two feet away. It is not the same and you both know it.